Wrestling Undertaker Assets

Big Stoke holding court with Jaka, Faye Jackson, and MJF Photo Credit: TH Welcome to a feature I like to call "Best in the World" rankings. They're not traditional power rankings per se, but they're rankings to see who is really the best in the world, a term bandied about like it's bottled water or something else really common. They're rankings decided by me, and don't you dare call them arbitrary lest I smack the taste out of your mouth. Without further ado, here's this week's list: 1. Stokely Hathaway (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Big Stoke Doin' Thangs hit a new high this weekend as not only did he successfully lead one client over another in Philly, but he defeated Nick Gage in Worcester in a match that I'm sure had no interference whatsoever from anyone affiliated with him. Add that in to the BOMBSHELL revelation that he acquired the master tapes from Marvin Gaye's estate and will be featuring him on his new album, and you've got ...

A hero. Photo Credit: News and Tribune Welcome to a feature I like to call "Best in the World" rankings. They're not traditional power rankings per se, but they're rankings to see who is really the best in the world, a term bandied about like it's bottled water or something else really common. They're rankings decided by me, and don't you dare call them arbitrary lest I smack the taste out of your mouth. Without further ado, here's this week's list: 1. James Shaw, Jr. (Last Week: Not Ranked) - The amount of mass shootings in this country is both staggering and grotesque, and rarely do good stories come out of them. The Waffle House shooter in Nashville still killed four people before Shaw heroically disarmed him with his own bare hands, so it's not exactly a perfect story. Then again, who really is prepared to deal with a naked psychopath opening fire in a public place? Not even a good guy with a gun could have prevented shots from firing, but...

BRYAN BACK ON THE GRIND Photo Credit: WWE.com Welcome to a feature I like to call "Best in the World" rankings. They're not traditional power rankings per se, but they're rankings to see who is really the best in the world, a term bandied about like it's bottled water or something else really common. They're rankings decided by me, and don't you dare call them arbitrary lest I smack the taste out of your mouth. Without further ado, here's this week's list: 1. Daniel Bryan (Last Week: 1) - Honestly, I got a little worried when near the end of his first weekly television match since returning with AJ Styles, Bryan took a weird bump from the top rope on a back suplex reversal. It's okay, all of his fans are going to have moments whenever he takes a bad-looking bump like that, but it's all part of his comeback. Everyone's gotta adjust. 2. Ben Simmons (Last Week: 2) - Simmons in his first playoff game just dished 14 assists en route to a S...

YES! YES! YES! YES! Photo Credit: WWE.com Welcome to a feature I like to call "Best in the World" rankings. They're not traditional power rankings per se, but they're rankings to see who is really the best in the world, a term bandied about like it's bottled water or something else really common. They're rankings decided by me, and don't you dare call them arbitrary lest I smack the taste out of your mouth. Without further ado, here's this week's list: 1. Daniel Bryan (Last Week: 1) - It wasn't a bloodbath like against Takeshi Morishima or a five-star technical classic against Nigel McGuinness or an emotion-soaked underdog battle like against Triple H, but by god, Daniel Bryan back in a pro wrestling ring just felt right. It was like he didn't miss a beat at all. God bless. 2. Ben Simmons (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Joel Embiid out with a concussion? No fear, Ben Simmons is here to lead the way. The Sixers continued their winning ways thank...

Tune into Smackdown Tuesday to see more creative ways Nakamura can low-blow Styles! Photo Credit: WWE.com In TH Style, of course. You can still watch this for free on WWE Network as a new subscriber, but at this point, maybe just peep RAW and Smackdown this week instead? I dunno. Highlights: Seth Rollins became the final member of The Shield to attain Grand Slam status as he captured the Intercontinental Championship after curb stomps on both Finn B�lor and The Miz. Charlotte Flair ended Asuka's unbeaten streak and retained the Smackdown Women's Championship with the Figure Eight. Jinder Mahal outlasted Randy Orton, Bobby Roode, and Rusev to win the United States Championship with a Khallas on Rusev. Ronda Rousey and Kurt Angle bested Stephanie McMahon and Triple H, as Rousey tapped McMahon out with a cross-armbreaker. The Bludgeon Brothers won the Smackdown Tag Team Championships with an assisted avalanche sitout powerbomb on on Kofi Kingston. Undertaker finally answered John ...

Whomst will Strowman's partner be? Photo Credit: WWE.com It's Twitter Request Line time, everyone! I take to Twitter to get questions about issues in wrestling, past and present, and answer them on here because 140 characters can't restrain me, fool! If you don't know already, follow me @tholzerman , and wait for the call on Wednesday to ask your questions. Hash-tag your questions #TweetBag , and look for the bag to drop Thursday afternoon (most of the time). Without further ado, here are your questions and my answers: Do you think Colton Burpo is more likely to hit it off with Skylin or Booch during a chance encounter at Burlington Coat Factory? #tweetbag � Ryan Bayne (@mutantdog123) April 4, 2018 Honestly, Booch has always been aloof. Skylin is definitely more of an outgoing personality, and Colton Burpo loves to engage with outgoing personalities. I am so, so sorry everyone. Protected user @AGoot18 asks: Are you going to be Braun's partner? Unfortunately, I'm...

WILL TAKER SHOW UP AT MANIA? Photo Credit: WWE.com It's the biggest week in wrestling. WrestleMania week? NO. WrestleMania is RUN BY MARKS, WORKED BY MARKS, and ATTENDED BY THE BIGGEST MARKS OF THEM ALL. This week is WRESTLEMANIA NEWS WEEK from your main source for ALL the biggest scoops, HORB FLERBMINBER. Oh, you thought you could escape me, COULD YOU? Well, you're WRONG! I'm here to feed you the news whether you like it or not, like old-timey parents used to feed their belligerent children castor oil. I SAW IT ON TOM AND JERRY ONCE, SO IT HAS TO BE TRUE. Do you think Bryan Alvarez has the same dedication to giving you what you need? HELL NO, he's too busy trying to pass off WCW Saturday Night recaps from 1994 as current events. I'M ONTO YOU, DICK BOY. Of course, you COULD just read the newsletter, but that'd be like going to an orgy and just sticking your pinky finger in someone's asshole, WITH THEIR CONSENT, OF COURSE. Unlike some professional wrestling ...

Bryan's return date is OFFICIAL Photo Credit: WWE.com Welcome to a feature I like to call "Best in the World" rankings. They're not traditional power rankings per se, but they're rankings to see who is really the best in the world, a term bandied about like it's bottled water or something else really common. They're rankings decided by me, and don't you dare call them arbitrary lest I smack the taste out of your mouth. Without further ado, here's this week's list: 1. Daniel Bryan (Last Week: 1) - Bryan's comeback finally feels completely real as his WrestleMania match is set. He'll team with Shane McMahon against Sami Zayn and Kevin Owens, and while most people are speculating as to whether or not Bryan will turn heel (lmao, as if Zayn and Owens are the real heels here), I'm speculating if McMahon's diverticulitis will be okay enough for him to wrestle by then. I'd love to see someone turn on Bryan to lift him away from thi...

GUESS WHO GOT THE POOP POISONING? Photo Credit: WWE.com HORB FLERBMINBER is back, and I don't have enough time in the day to tell you all the reasons why the following news report will CHANGE YOUR LIFE. Honestly, I shouldn't even be reporting half of this. Why? Is it because most of it isn't true? PREPOSTEROUS. My news is the LEAST FAKE NEWS OF ALL-TIME. It's because for most people, the truth hurts, rating about at a nine or even a full ten on the pain scale. THAT'S WHY DAVE MELTZER NEVER REPORTS ANYTHING ACCURATE. He's too much of a WIMP to SMACK YOU IN THE FACE with the straight dope! That and because he's a fucking rube who gets worked too easily by his sources and who takes it out on women in general and in specific, but that's neither here nor there. Or is it? YOU BE THE JUDGE. Now, you could just read the below newsletter and do nothing else with your day, BUT WHERE'S THE FUN IN THAT, PISSANT? Follow me on Twitter, @HorbFlerbminber . I swear, ...

BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER Photo Credit: WWE.com Welcome to a feature I like to call "Best in the World" rankings. They're not traditional power rankings per se, but they're rankings to see who is really the best in the world, a term bandied about like it's bottled water or something else really common. They're rankings decided by me, and don't you dare call them arbitrary lest I smack the taste out of your mouth. Without further ado, here's this week's list: 1. Daniel Bryan (Last Week: Not Ranked) - So, Bryan announced that he was cleared to wrestle and immediately took an apron bump on his way back to a presumed match at WrestleMania. What an absolute legend. He could have just put someone in a YES! Lock and been done with it, but when you're Bryan BY GOD Danielson, you don't half-ass things. You put the stank on it. I can't wait to see what he has in store at Mania and beyond. 2. Kota Ibushi (Last Week: Not Ranked) - The Golden Love...

DuVernay did well with A Wrinkle in Time Photo Credit: Joe Pugliese Welcome to a feature I like to call "Best in the World" rankings. They're not traditional power rankings per se, but they're rankings to see who is really the best in the world, a term bandied about like it's bottled water or something else really common. They're rankings decided by me, and don't you dare call them arbitrary lest I smack the taste out of your mouth. Without further ado, here's this week's list: 1. Ava DuVernay (Last Week: 3) - I actually saw A Wrinkle in Time on Friday with my son, who wanted to see it, and it was actually really good. I had my problems with it (glossed over some things a bit too fast, didn't really dig Levi Miller's or Mindy Kaling's performances), but overall, it was stunning. It was colorful, bright, hopeful, all things that modern blockbusters seem to want to eschew nowadays. DuVernay really should be proud of this film. It's ...