Wrestling Undertaker Assets

WILL TAKER SHOW UP AT MANIA? Photo Credit: WWE.com It's the biggest week in wrestling. WrestleMania week? NO. WrestleMania is RUN BY MARKS, WORKED BY MARKS, and ATTENDED BY THE BIGGEST MARKS OF THEM ALL. This week is WRESTLEMANIA NEWS WEEK from your main source for ALL the biggest scoops, HORB FLERBMINBER. Oh, you thought you could escape me, COULD YOU? Well, you're WRONG! I'm here to feed you the news whether you like it or not, like old-timey parents used to feed their belligerent children castor oil. I SAW IT ON TOM AND JERRY ONCE, SO IT HAS TO BE TRUE. Do you think Bryan Alvarez has the same dedication to giving you what you need? HELL NO, he's too busy trying to pass off WCW Saturday Night recaps from 1994 as current events. I'M ONTO YOU, DICK BOY. Of course, you COULD just read the newsletter, but that'd be like going to an orgy and just sticking your pinky finger in someone's asshole, WITH THEIR CONSENT, OF COURSE. Unlike some professional wrestling ...

GUESS WHO GOT THE POOP POISONING? Photo Credit: WWE.com HORB FLERBMINBER is back, and I don't have enough time in the day to tell you all the reasons why the following news report will CHANGE YOUR LIFE. Honestly, I shouldn't even be reporting half of this. Why? Is it because most of it isn't true? PREPOSTEROUS. My news is the LEAST FAKE NEWS OF ALL-TIME. It's because for most people, the truth hurts, rating about at a nine or even a full ten on the pain scale. THAT'S WHY DAVE MELTZER NEVER REPORTS ANYTHING ACCURATE. He's too much of a WIMP to SMACK YOU IN THE FACE with the straight dope! That and because he's a fucking rube who gets worked too easily by his sources and who takes it out on women in general and in specific, but that's neither here nor there. Or is it? YOU BE THE JUDGE. Now, you could just read the below newsletter and do nothing else with your day, BUT WHERE'S THE FUN IN THAT, PISSANT? Follow me on Twitter, @HorbFlerbminber . I swear, ...

The Peacock of Pro Wrestling kicks off this year's TWB 100 Screenshot from Ring of Honor YouTube Come one, come all to the breaking of the seal on the 2017 TWB 100! The list begins with entry number 100 and will count down. Today, the first 25 wrestlers will be unveiled based on the points they received from voting. The voting system gives 100 points for a first place vote, 99 for a second, 98 for a third, and so on and so forth until you get down to one point for a 100th place vote. The first tiebreaker is higher high vote, and the second is number of ballots. Luckily, no ties occurred in the top 100 this year. Without further ado, the list, it begins: 100. Dalton Castle Points: 325 Number of Ballots: 7 Highest Vote: 29th Place (Mike Pankowski) Last Year�s Ranking: 58th Place Photo Credit: WWE.com 99. Abbey Laith/Kimber Lee Points: 329 Number of Ballots: 7 Highest Vote: 21st Place (Mat Morgan) Last Year�s Ranking: 43rd Place TH: Due to her signing in NXT, the world didn�t...

He can do good shit, but man, Ospreay just is a turnoff otherwise Photo Credit: NJPW website The next category in the sorting bins is "Begrudging Toleration." These wrestlers are as the bin name says, those I tolerate. I don't actively hate them like I do in the other category, but if they're on screen, well, I'm probably going for the other person. Additionally, this and the next two boxes will not have writeups for everyone, because do you want me to be here the rest of the year just writing this one up? Without further ado... Will Ospreay - The shame part is that Ospreay is a pretty good performer, great sometimes. Every time I see him in the ring, it's like I'm watching the future of wrestling unfold in front of my eyes. That being said, the dude faves racist tweets, bitches and moans about people stealing moves that he borrowed three degrees from the original, and is notoriously bad at Twitter. Every time I wanna feel good about watching him, he give...