Wrestling Undertaker Assets

Tune into Smackdown Tuesday to see more creative ways Nakamura can low-blow Styles! Photo Credit: WWE.com In TH Style, of course. You can still watch this for free on WWE Network as a new subscriber, but at this point, maybe just peep RAW and Smackdown this week instead? I dunno. Highlights: Seth Rollins became the final member of The Shield to attain Grand Slam status as he captured the Intercontinental Championship after curb stomps on both Finn B�lor and The Miz. Charlotte Flair ended Asuka's unbeaten streak and retained the Smackdown Women's Championship with the Figure Eight. Jinder Mahal outlasted Randy Orton, Bobby Roode, and Rusev to win the United States Championship with a Khallas on Rusev. Ronda Rousey and Kurt Angle bested Stephanie McMahon and Triple H, as Rousey tapped McMahon out with a cross-armbreaker. The Bludgeon Brothers won the Smackdown Tag Team Championships with an assisted avalanche sitout powerbomb on on Kofi Kingston. Undertaker finally answered John ...

Whomst will Strowman's partner be? Photo Credit: WWE.com It's Twitter Request Line time, everyone! I take to Twitter to get questions about issues in wrestling, past and present, and answer them on here because 140 characters can't restrain me, fool! If you don't know already, follow me @tholzerman , and wait for the call on Wednesday to ask your questions. Hash-tag your questions #TweetBag , and look for the bag to drop Thursday afternoon (most of the time). Without further ado, here are your questions and my answers: Do you think Colton Burpo is more likely to hit it off with Skylin or Booch during a chance encounter at Burlington Coat Factory? #tweetbag � Ryan Bayne (@mutantdog123) April 4, 2018 Honestly, Booch has always been aloof. Skylin is definitely more of an outgoing personality, and Colton Burpo loves to engage with outgoing personalities. I am so, so sorry everyone. Protected user @AGoot18 asks: Are you going to be Braun's partner? Unfortunately, I'm...

WILL TAKER SHOW UP AT MANIA? Photo Credit: WWE.com It's the biggest week in wrestling. WrestleMania week? NO. WrestleMania is RUN BY MARKS, WORKED BY MARKS, and ATTENDED BY THE BIGGEST MARKS OF THEM ALL. This week is WRESTLEMANIA NEWS WEEK from your main source for ALL the biggest scoops, HORB FLERBMINBER. Oh, you thought you could escape me, COULD YOU? Well, you're WRONG! I'm here to feed you the news whether you like it or not, like old-timey parents used to feed their belligerent children castor oil. I SAW IT ON TOM AND JERRY ONCE, SO IT HAS TO BE TRUE. Do you think Bryan Alvarez has the same dedication to giving you what you need? HELL NO, he's too busy trying to pass off WCW Saturday Night recaps from 1994 as current events. I'M ONTO YOU, DICK BOY. Of course, you COULD just read the newsletter, but that'd be like going to an orgy and just sticking your pinky finger in someone's asshole, WITH THEIR CONSENT, OF COURSE. Unlike some professional wrestling ...

He has returned! Photo Credit: WWE.com Are you ready to celebrate the GREATEST COMEBACK IN WRESTLING HISTORY? What, Bryan Danielson? HELL NO. Everyone knew he was coming back sooner or later, ESPECIALLY ME. I'm talking about HORB FLERBMINBER, baby. That's right, I have RETURNED from the gnarliest hangover in WRESTLING JOURNALISM HISTORY. I would say I'm never drinking that much grappa again, but YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN RYAN SATIN IS GOING TO THROW DOWN THE GROSS LIQUOR GAUNTLET AT THE AIRPORT HOLIDAY INN IN ONTARIO, CA. I must remain as vigilant to consume massive amounts of disgusting liquor as I am to report the news. AND I AM THE MOST VIGILANT AT DOING THAT. Of course, you could just consume the HORB EXPERIENCE via the newsletter, but WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT? That would be like going to Old Country Buffet and not stuffing your cargo pants full of take-home leftovers. THEY HAVE ENOUGH FOOD TO FEED 12 ARMIES, I CAN TAKE MORE THAN I CAN EAT HOME, DAMMIT. First, you shove popcorn ...

FINALLY, ROUSEY DEVELOPS A SECOND FACIAL EXPRESSION Photo Credit: WWE.com So, you need the news, eh? You need it so bad that you can taste it, that you ACHE FOR IT. Well, you're in luck because HORB FLERBMINBER IS BACK WITH MORE INFORMATION THAN YOUR PUNY BRAINS CAN HANDLE. I bring so much news to the table that even Justin Barrasso is embarrassed. AND HE'S CO-OPTED BY WWE. I once reported something that made Vince McMahon cry. Sure, it was that I was carrying a letterbomb full of atomized onion that exploded in his face, causing him the MOST PAINFUL PAIN HE'S EVER FELT, but hey, I take things on technicalities. IT COUNTS. Of course, you could  just read the newsletter and think to yourself, "Oh, I've had enough." Well, you'd be WRONG, because you can NEVER HAVE ENOUGH HORB, you peon. NEVER. First, follow me on Twitter, @ HorbFlerbminber . Where else can you see me hoot and holler while Eric Bischoff owns Dave Meltzer? NOWHERE, that's where. Also, you ...

Rollins shone because he dictated his path, not management Photo Credit: WWE.com RAW has opened with a 20 minute promo so many times in its history, one can be forgiven if they watched last night, got nearly two-thirds of the way through the telecast before the first match ended, and were flabbergasted at the dedication served to an actual in-ring product that wasn't truncated, formulaic for television, or unimportant. Sure, the premise of it was, in a word, stupid if you didn't immerse yourself in the experience. Six days out from Elimination Chamber and putting all seven competitors in a grueling marathon match for zero stakes felt like the most Vince McMahon-as-demented-autocrat decision ever. However, Seth Rollins and Roman Reigns from the beginning set the scene in a way that it demanded your attention to forget about the lack of tangible stakes outside of the classic "winner's purse" ploys that old school color commentators would dangle as a reason. The firs...

E-A-G-L-E-S EAGLES Photo Credit: Getty Images It's Twitter Request Line time, everyone! I take to Twitter to get questions about issues in wrestling, past and present, and answer them on here because 140 characters can't restrain me, fool! If you don't know already, follow me @tholzerman , and wait for the call on Wednesday to ask your questions. Hash-tag your questions #TweetBag , and look for the bag to drop Thursday afternoon (most of the time). Without further ado, here are your questions and my answers: First time long time. Here's my question: Who are the Superbowl LII Champions? � JawnJawn Binks (@FanSince09) February 7, 2018 I'm going to let these guys handle it: go birds Does Brandon Graham get a statue in front of the stadium? � Thomas SinCara (@beenthrifty) February 7, 2018 I don't know if he will, but he should. Nick Foles will get all the press, and rightfully so, but man, that win doesn't happen without Graham knocking the ball loose and almos...

Penta El Zero M snapping arms and starting off this entry of the TWB 100 Photo Credit: Mikey Nolan The TWB 100 charges into the top half of the list today. But enough of me yammering in an introductory fashion. The list, it resumes now! 50. Pentag�n, Jr./Dark/Penta El Zero M Points: 619 Number of Ballots: 10 Highest Vote: 11th Place (Mat Morgan) Last Year�s Ranking: 32nd Place Chris Gibbons: Like his brother, Pentagon can be a bit inconsistent in match effort, but holy hell is his peak incredible. The Cueto Cup to Ultima Lucha Tres was a phenomenal run for Penta in Lucha Underground, and he had plenty of great stuff for the American indies he frequented. His death match with Tremont in CZW was one of the best bloody spectacles of the year, especially considering that it was his fourth match in two days. Photo Credit: Mikey Nolan 49. Kenny Omega Points: 623 Number of Ballots: 8 Highest Vote: 2nd Place (Jeremy Carlile) Last Year�s Ranking: Not Ranked TH: He was in the top 25 of...