Wrestling Undertaker Assets

Big Stoke holding court with Jaka, Faye Jackson, and MJF Photo Credit: TH Welcome to a feature I like to call "Best in the World" rankings. They're not traditional power rankings per se, but they're rankings to see who is really the best in the world, a term bandied about like it's bottled water or something else really common. They're rankings decided by me, and don't you dare call them arbitrary lest I smack the taste out of your mouth. Without further ado, here's this week's list: 1. Stokely Hathaway (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Big Stoke Doin' Thangs hit a new high this weekend as not only did he successfully lead one client over another in Philly, but he defeated Nick Gage in Worcester in a match that I'm sure had no interference whatsoever from anyone affiliated with him. Add that in to the BOMBSHELL revelation that he acquired the master tapes from Marvin Gaye's estate and will be featuring him on his new album, and you've got ...

...THIS Fucking Guy, Part the Nth Photo Credit: WWE.com Four Men: arrive Announcer: Please welcome the Undisputed Era ! One: announces himself Everybody, Even You: ADAM COLE, BAY BAY! Full Sailors: receive them generally favorably   Un dis pu ted! clap clap clapclapclap ACBB: Relish this, relish all the gold.  Since the beginning NXT's tried to prevent this from happening, yet here we stand. Robert Fish, Esquire: WarGames threw us to the wolves, and so did New Orleans, but at every single turn we remain one step ahead dripping in gold. Roddy Strong: Why, Roddy, why?  Well, I don't want to pat myself on the back... the Others: do it for him Roddy: ...but I had an epiphany.  I did something for myself, and it was the best decision of my career.  All Pete cares about is the WWEUK belt; how long would it have been before he turned on me?  And why should it be Roddy v. the World when I can finally have some allies and take over NXT? Kyle O'Reilly: The days of ...

A hero. Photo Credit: News and Tribune Welcome to a feature I like to call "Best in the World" rankings. They're not traditional power rankings per se, but they're rankings to see who is really the best in the world, a term bandied about like it's bottled water or something else really common. They're rankings decided by me, and don't you dare call them arbitrary lest I smack the taste out of your mouth. Without further ado, here's this week's list: 1. James Shaw, Jr. (Last Week: Not Ranked) - The amount of mass shootings in this country is both staggering and grotesque, and rarely do good stories come out of them. The Waffle House shooter in Nashville still killed four people before Shaw heroically disarmed him with his own bare hands, so it's not exactly a perfect story. Then again, who really is prepared to deal with a naked psychopath opening fire in a public place? Not even a good guy with a gun could have prevented shots from firing, but...

BRYAN BACK ON THE GRIND Photo Credit: WWE.com Welcome to a feature I like to call "Best in the World" rankings. They're not traditional power rankings per se, but they're rankings to see who is really the best in the world, a term bandied about like it's bottled water or something else really common. They're rankings decided by me, and don't you dare call them arbitrary lest I smack the taste out of your mouth. Without further ado, here's this week's list: 1. Daniel Bryan (Last Week: 1) - Honestly, I got a little worried when near the end of his first weekly television match since returning with AJ Styles, Bryan took a weird bump from the top rope on a back suplex reversal. It's okay, all of his fans are going to have moments whenever he takes a bad-looking bump like that, but it's all part of his comeback. Everyone's gotta adjust. 2. Ben Simmons (Last Week: 2) - Simmons in his first playoff game just dished 14 assists en route to a S...

YES! YES! YES! YES! Photo Credit: WWE.com Welcome to a feature I like to call "Best in the World" rankings. They're not traditional power rankings per se, but they're rankings to see who is really the best in the world, a term bandied about like it's bottled water or something else really common. They're rankings decided by me, and don't you dare call them arbitrary lest I smack the taste out of your mouth. Without further ado, here's this week's list: 1. Daniel Bryan (Last Week: 1) - It wasn't a bloodbath like against Takeshi Morishima or a five-star technical classic against Nigel McGuinness or an emotion-soaked underdog battle like against Triple H, but by god, Daniel Bryan back in a pro wrestling ring just felt right. It was like he didn't miss a beat at all. God bless. 2. Ben Simmons (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Joel Embiid out with a concussion? No fear, Ben Simmons is here to lead the way. The Sixers continued their winning ways thank...

Bryan's return date is OFFICIAL Photo Credit: WWE.com Welcome to a feature I like to call "Best in the World" rankings. They're not traditional power rankings per se, but they're rankings to see who is really the best in the world, a term bandied about like it's bottled water or something else really common. They're rankings decided by me, and don't you dare call them arbitrary lest I smack the taste out of your mouth. Without further ado, here's this week's list: 1. Daniel Bryan (Last Week: 1) - Bryan's comeback finally feels completely real as his WrestleMania match is set. He'll team with Shane McMahon against Sami Zayn and Kevin Owens, and while most people are speculating as to whether or not Bryan will turn heel (lmao, as if Zayn and Owens are the real heels here), I'm speculating if McMahon's diverticulitis will be okay enough for him to wrestle by then. I'd love to see someone turn on Bryan to lift him away from thi...

BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER Photo Credit: WWE.com Welcome to a feature I like to call "Best in the World" rankings. They're not traditional power rankings per se, but they're rankings to see who is really the best in the world, a term bandied about like it's bottled water or something else really common. They're rankings decided by me, and don't you dare call them arbitrary lest I smack the taste out of your mouth. Without further ado, here's this week's list: 1. Daniel Bryan (Last Week: Not Ranked) - So, Bryan announced that he was cleared to wrestle and immediately took an apron bump on his way back to a presumed match at WrestleMania. What an absolute legend. He could have just put someone in a YES! Lock and been done with it, but when you're Bryan BY GOD Danielson, you don't half-ass things. You put the stank on it. I can't wait to see what he has in store at Mania and beyond. 2. Kota Ibushi (Last Week: Not Ranked) - The Golden Love...

[Ironside theme intensifies] Photo Credit: Some Unemployed Guy 's Twitter Ciampa: comes out Full Sailors (yes, they're back) : hold up Johnny Winkyface signs BOOOOOO!  YOU SUCK!  YOU SUCK! Ciampa: holds up his index finger and raises the mic Full Sailors: BOOOOO!  JOHNNY WRESTLING!  clap clap clapclapclap Ciampa: shakes his head, finally blows it HE'S GONE!  GONE!   Full Sailors: BOOOOOOOOOOOO! Ciampa: NEWS FLASH: he's not walking down that damn aisle, he's GONE!         Full Sailors: BOOOOOOOOOOOO!  YOU SUCK!  YOU SUCK! Ciampa: raises the mic again Full Sailors: BOOOOOOOOOOOO!  CIAMPA SUCKS!  CIAMPA SUCKS! Ciampa: extends his arms Come At Me Bro style, drops the mic and leaves Full Sailors: BOOOOOOOOOOOO!  signs up, so many signs Ciampa: starts ripping the ones he can reach, from a young woman, an old lady, some fan in a mask Some Fan In A Mask: removes it... you can probably guess Johnny Wrestling: jumps over ...

DuVernay did well with A Wrinkle in Time Photo Credit: Joe Pugliese Welcome to a feature I like to call "Best in the World" rankings. They're not traditional power rankings per se, but they're rankings to see who is really the best in the world, a term bandied about like it's bottled water or something else really common. They're rankings decided by me, and don't you dare call them arbitrary lest I smack the taste out of your mouth. Without further ado, here's this week's list: 1. Ava DuVernay (Last Week: 3) - I actually saw A Wrinkle in Time on Friday with my son, who wanted to see it, and it was actually really good. I had my problems with it (glossed over some things a bit too fast, didn't really dig Levi Miller's or Mindy Kaling's performances), but overall, it was stunning. It was colorful, bright, hopeful, all things that modern blockbusters seem to want to eschew nowadays. DuVernay really should be proud of this film. It's ...

"AND NOW, HERE'S BEETHOVEN'S NINTH." Photo Credit: WWE.com Welcome to a feature I like to call "Best in the World" rankings. They're not traditional power rankings per se, but they're rankings to see who is really the best in the world, a term bandied about like it's bottled water or something else really common. They're rankings decided by me, and don't you dare call them arbitrary lest I smack the taste out of your mouth. Without further ado, here's this week's list: 1. Braun Strowman (Last Week: 3) - I'd like to say that I'd have rated him higher if he had put Elias through the piano, but what's higher than number one? Would I have to name him God? That's blasphemy. Joey Janela's already God. 2. Meiko Satomura (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Satomura was announced for Fight Club Pro's April Fool's Day card against Pete Dunne, which only means one thing. Pete Dunne's gonna die. 3. Ava DuVernay (Last W...

The real winner of Oscar weekend, even if he didn't win all the awards he should have Photo Credit: Emma McIntyre/Getty Images Welcome to a feature I like to call "Best in the World" rankings. They're not traditional power rankings per se, but they're rankings to see who is really the best in the world, a term bandied about like it's bottled water or something else really common. They're rankings decided by me, and don't you dare call them arbitrary lest I smack the taste out of your mouth. Without further ado, here's this week's list: 1. Jordan Peele (Last Week: Not Ranked) - So what, Get Out didn't win Best Picture, nor did Peele win Best Director. However, the Oscars are kind of a sham, right? I mean, in what universe is Crash the best picture of any year? Peele did take home an Academy Award for Best Original Screenplay, but even more satisfying, he got widespread praise from most critics and fans who saw his unique and groundbreakin...

Braun Strowman has become Death, Destroyer of Chambers Photo Credit: WWE.com Welcome to a feature I like to call "Best in the World" rankings. They're not traditional power rankings per se, but they're rankings to see who is really the best in the world, a term bandied about like it's bottled water or something else really common. They're rankings decided by me, and don't you dare call them arbitrary lest I smack the taste out of your mouth. Without further ado, here's this week's list: 1. Braun Strowman (Last Week: 1) - Strowman didn't win the Chamber match but he pretty much made Roman Reigns' job easy for him. I mean, he eliminated an entire normal Elimination Chamber's worth of competitors last night. Technically, he should be given some kind of win, but you know the Monster Among Men isn't content taking technicalities. My guess is he'll go and level North Henderson tonight in retaliation. Or maybe just kick Reigns across ...

BRAAAAUUUUUUNNNN Photo Credit: WWE.com Welcome to a feature I like to call "Best in the World" rankings. They're not traditional power rankings per se, but they're rankings to see who is really the best in the world, a term bandied about like it's bottled water or something else really common. They're rankings decided by me, and don't you dare call them arbitrary lest I smack the taste out of your mouth. Without further ado, here's this week's list: 1. Braun Strowman (Last Week: 4) - Look, how could I not put Strowman first. The goddamn cello puts him in the running for greatest RAW segment of all-time. Seriously. 2. Joel Embiid (Last Week: 6) - Embiid played in his first all-star game last night and continued the process along of adopting Russell Westbrook, first by hitting a RAINBOW of a three pointer over him from WAY downtown and then chasing him down and blocking him at the other end. Lord help the Oklahoma City Thunder if they're on the...

THE MAN, THE MYTH, LEGEND Photo Credit: Alex Brandon/AP Photo Welcome to a feature I like to call "Best in the World" rankings. They're not traditional power rankings per se, but they're rankings to see who is really the best in the world, a term bandied about like it's bottled water or something else really common. They're rankings decided by me, and don't you dare call them arbitrary lest I smack the taste out of your mouth. Without further ado, here's this week's list: 1. Jason Kelce (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Kelce got dressed up like a mummer, drunk as a skunk, and made the most epic victory speech of all-time . It was such a fuckin' awesome wrestling promo that he should go down to the Performance Center to teach them after his football days are over. If he ever has to buy a drink in Philly, everyone in this city will have failed at life. 2. Asuka (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Sasha Banks and Bayley are great wrestlers, but really, they'...

Penta El Zero M snapping arms and starting off this entry of the TWB 100 Photo Credit: Mikey Nolan The TWB 100 charges into the top half of the list today. But enough of me yammering in an introductory fashion. The list, it resumes now! 50. Pentag�n, Jr./Dark/Penta El Zero M Points: 619 Number of Ballots: 10 Highest Vote: 11th Place (Mat Morgan) Last Year�s Ranking: 32nd Place Chris Gibbons: Like his brother, Pentagon can be a bit inconsistent in match effort, but holy hell is his peak incredible. The Cueto Cup to Ultima Lucha Tres was a phenomenal run for Penta in Lucha Underground, and he had plenty of great stuff for the American indies he frequented. His death match with Tremont in CZW was one of the best bloody spectacles of the year, especially considering that it was his fourth match in two days. Photo Credit: Mikey Nolan 49. Kenny Omega Points: 623 Number of Ballots: 8 Highest Vote: 2nd Place (Jeremy Carlile) Last Year�s Ranking: Not Ranked TH: He was in the top 25 of...