Wrestling Undertaker Assets

Get ready, you mutha***** for the big payback Photo Credit: WWE.com Results, stray thoughts, and takeaways from NXT's three- hour special from the Big Easy just as soon as I can finally relax when the credits box pops up... Results: Adam Cole beat Ricochet, ECIII, Lars Sullivan, Killian Dain and Velveteen Dream in a ladder match to become NXT's first-ever North American Champion. Shayna Baszler became the seventh woman to win the NXT Women's World Championship after Ember Moon passed out in the Kirifuda Clutch. The Undisputed Era's Adam Cole and Kyle O'Reilly retained the NXT World Tag Team Championships over the Authors of Pain and Roderick Strong and Pete Dunne in a triple threat match when Strong turned on Dunne, allowing Kyle O'Reilly to gain the fall. Appropriately enough, Aleister Black became the 13th different man to win the NXT World Championship by beating Andrade "Cien" Almas via pinfall after a second Black Mass. Johnny Gargano used a brac...

Ladies and gentlevillains � E C III Photo Credit: WWE.com Rental Car: pulls up "Earlier Today" Scumbag: gets out Full Sailors Outside: BOOOOOOOOO Cameraman's Questions: get ignored Tomasshole: Mr. Regal! What is going on?  Johnny... he... he shows up at my work and sneak attacks me � the last act of a desperate scoundrel, may I add � my physical therapy. my apartment at three in the morning!  This is on you! Master Regal: Johnny is out of order, I concur. Tomasshole: I want him gone for good! Master Regal: I propose to you at Takeover: New Orleans an unsanctioned match. Tomasshole: Me?  In an unsanctioned match?  You know who I am, boss, you know what that means... Master Regal: Should Johnathon win, he gets his job back.  Should you win, he's banished from NXT forever. Tomasshole: For good? Master Regal: nods For good.  But this time, Mr. Ciampa, you'll have to do it...yourself. Who, The Band On Stage: YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH~! My Girlfriend, P...

GUESS WHO GOT THE POOP POISONING? Photo Credit: WWE.com HORB FLERBMINBER is back, and I don't have enough time in the day to tell you all the reasons why the following news report will CHANGE YOUR LIFE. Honestly, I shouldn't even be reporting half of this. Why? Is it because most of it isn't true? PREPOSTEROUS. My news is the LEAST FAKE NEWS OF ALL-TIME. It's because for most people, the truth hurts, rating about at a nine or even a full ten on the pain scale. THAT'S WHY DAVE MELTZER NEVER REPORTS ANYTHING ACCURATE. He's too much of a WIMP to SMACK YOU IN THE FACE with the straight dope! That and because he's a fucking rube who gets worked too easily by his sources and who takes it out on women in general and in specific, but that's neither here nor there. Or is it? YOU BE THE JUDGE. Now, you could just read the below newsletter and do nothing else with your day, BUT WHERE'S THE FUN IN THAT, PISSANT? Follow me on Twitter, @HorbFlerbminber . I swear, ...

[Ironside theme intensifies] Photo Credit: Some Unemployed Guy 's Twitter Ciampa: comes out Full Sailors (yes, they're back) : hold up Johnny Winkyface signs BOOOOOO!  YOU SUCK!  YOU SUCK! Ciampa: holds up his index finger and raises the mic Full Sailors: BOOOOO!  JOHNNY WRESTLING!  clap clap clapclapclap Ciampa: shakes his head, finally blows it HE'S GONE!  GONE!   Full Sailors: BOOOOOOOOOOOO! Ciampa: NEWS FLASH: he's not walking down that damn aisle, he's GONE!         Full Sailors: BOOOOOOOOOOOO!  YOU SUCK!  YOU SUCK! Ciampa: raises the mic again Full Sailors: BOOOOOOOOOOOO!  CIAMPA SUCKS!  CIAMPA SUCKS! Ciampa: extends his arms Come At Me Bro style, drops the mic and leaves Full Sailors: BOOOOOOOOOOOO!  signs up, so many signs Ciampa: starts ripping the ones he can reach, from a young woman, an old lady, some fan in a mask Some Fan In A Mask: removes it... you can probably guess Johnny Wrestling: jumps over ...

Get on my level, tho Photo Credit: WWE.com SAnitY: comes out as a unit Mossatelli: come out as a unit with a small bit of dissension, but Stun Gun their way into an advantageous position Center Stagers: Tino Sucks! Mossatelli: stays in control until the I Know What You Did Last Summer spot E.Y.: a domecile ablaze Riddick: breaks up a nearfall Nikki: lands a Flying Herbody on him off of the apron SAnitY: Backplex neckbreaker! Referee: Winners!   Tommasshole: stomps out sans crutch Center Stagers: BOO! hold up Johnny Winkyface signs Ciampa: puts the mic up to his lips CSers: BOO!  Johnny!  Johnny!  Johnny! Ciampa: shakes his head, raises the mic again CSers: BOO!  Johnny Wrestling!  clap clap clapclapclap Ciampa: shakes his head, yells something off-mic, then lifts his index finger before raising the m CSers: BOOOOOO! Ciampa: drops the mic CSers: YES!  YES!  YES!  YES! Ciampa: rolls out of the ring and walks around CSers: BOO!  CIAMPA SUC...

You shut your mouth when you're talking to us Photo Credit: WWE.com TM61: feed off the audience's chants Authors of Pain: look to feed on them TM61: Tandem side Russian legsweep!  Fistdrop + standing moonsault! Authors: shrug it off and commence pummeling from one segment to the next Winston Bishop Nick Miller: lands a desperation DDT Tags: made Shane Thorne: launches offensive Corner leg lariat!  Cannonball!  Modified Falcon Arrow! Referee: Kickout! Authors: Powerbomb neckbreaker! Nick: Save!  Tag!  Moonsault! Rezar: Whatever save!  is in Albanian.  Say, are you familiar with GORSH? Shane: Can't say that I am, no. Rezar: Well ?  powerbombs him into the apron from the ring Shane: is dead Center Stagers: HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT Authors: Corner Exploder.  Last.  Chapter. Referee: Winners! "The Press"""Earlier Today"": Mr. Regal, who do you think will win the Dusty Classic?  Do you have any dark horses for us? Master Regal:...

Cien 4, Tomasso 3, Johnny 0 Photo Credit: WWE.com Remember when our champion looked more like the Mexican-American Male? Remember when Johnny Wrestling couldn't buy a win to save his life? God's Production Team remembers. Title v. NXTenure is our main event. Velveteen Dream: preens his way to the ring Center Stagers: WHOO! Vel vet een! Vel vet een! No Way Jose: dances his way to the ring Center Stagers: Meh. Jose: But... he's still a, and I'm, you guys realize that Center Stagers: WE SAID MEH. Jose: Say meh to these right hands and this plancha! Center Stagers: Vel vet een! Vel vet een! Jose: biels him across the ring a couple of times Dream: I hear you, mortals. Okada level dropkick! Rolling DVD! Purple Rainmaker! Say the one thing I like in lieu of my name! Referee: Winner! Dream: picks up the mic Center Stagers: Vel vet een! Vel vet een! Dream: Your male competitor of the year... Center Stagers: HOORAY! Dream: Overall competitor of the year... Center Stagers: HOORAY!...

Penta El Zero M snapping arms and starting off this entry of the TWB 100 Photo Credit: Mikey Nolan The TWB 100 charges into the top half of the list today. But enough of me yammering in an introductory fashion. The list, it resumes now! 50. Pentag�n, Jr./Dark/Penta El Zero M Points: 619 Number of Ballots: 10 Highest Vote: 11th Place (Mat Morgan) Last Year�s Ranking: 32nd Place Chris Gibbons: Like his brother, Pentagon can be a bit inconsistent in match effort, but holy hell is his peak incredible. The Cueto Cup to Ultima Lucha Tres was a phenomenal run for Penta in Lucha Underground, and he had plenty of great stuff for the American indies he frequented. His death match with Tremont in CZW was one of the best bloody spectacles of the year, especially considering that it was his fourth match in two days. Photo Credit: Mikey Nolan 49. Kenny Omega Points: 623 Number of Ballots: 8 Highest Vote: 2nd Place (Jeremy Carlile) Last Year�s Ranking: Not Ranked TH: He was in the top 25 of...