Wrestling Undertaker Assets

They tore the pyramid down on Sunday Photo via New Japan Pro Wrestling Strong Style Evolved was nothing to write home about, compared at least to both G1 Special shows from last year. Sure, the wrestling was fine, especially on the back-half of the show. If you edited some of the slog parts out of the Hangman Page/ Knife Pervert Jay White match, that turns into a fine semifinal title match on a strong B-show. The Kazuchika Okada and Tomohiro Ishii vs. Zack Sabre, Jr. and Minoru Suzuki match was a delightfully violent feud-furthering interstitial that helped heap more coal into the furnace for the Okada/Sabre IWGP Championship match this coming Sunday. Several other matches had fun moments. However, while the G1 Specials felt like marquee events, Strong Style Evolved had a distinct house show feeling to it. The show, up until the end of the White/Page match, felt fun but inconsequential at best. Then, the Golden Lovers and Young Bucks took the ring and gave the event its raison d'e...

A HOT FREE AGENT Photo Credit: WWE.com Half the nation is buried under snow, but don't fret! HORB FLERBMINBER is here to dig out all the SCOOPS you need to get through your piddling, winter precipitation-covered existence. Do you see Dave Meltzer out there salting the streets so he can get to all the news on the IMPORTANT coast? NO, he's too busy salting the earth of his credibility by smearing women and minorities from the comfort of his California hermit compound. I'M OUT HERE WITH A PLOW SO I CAN GET TO CM PUNK'S FRONT DOOR AND PLANT SURVEILLANCE CAMERAS. You don't get that kind of dedication from the other coastal elites and their LAISSEZ-FAIRE JOURNALISM. Now, you could just read the newsletter and think you're content with yourself. YOU'D BE WRONG, YOU LAGGART AND WASTREL. You should first follow me on Twitter, @HorbFlerbminber. You can follow me for breaking news, like when I broke when Cody Rhodes posted an affidavit stating that he believed reverse ...

The Bucks have found their venue for All In Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein The show that started out as a friendly bet with Dave Meltzer has found a venue, and now feels like a real thing that is going to happen. All In, the independent wrestling show promoted by Cody Rhodes and the Young Bucks, will take place at the Sears Centre Arena in Hoffman Estates, IL, a suburb of Chicago. The 11,000+ seat arena currently is home to the Windy City Bulls of the National Basketball Association's developmental league, the G-League, the Chicago Mustangs of the Major Arena Soccer League, and the Chicago Bliss of the Legends Football League (formerly Lingerie Football League). The arena has hosted pro wrestling before, as it was the home of TNA's Bound For Glory in 2008. The arena announcement is the last major piece of the puzzle to be announced, after the date (September 1) and the headline talent. The first wrestlers to be named for the show are Rhodes, the Bucks, Marty Scurll, Hangman Pa...

Jordan has neck issues Photo Credit: WWE.com So, are all you REPROBATES and BELLENDS done celebrating the Super Bowl? Huh? HUH? I know Holzerman isn't, that motherfucker. He still stinks of Victory Golden Monkey and horseshit. WHO DOES HE THINK HE IS DOING ALL THAT HIGHFALLUTIN' STUFF. Only rat vomit and Jeppsen's Malort for your newsmaster, HORB FLERBMINBER. That's right, I'm DRUNK ALL THE TIME, not just when some shitty football team finally stops being shitty long enough to win something. BESIDES, I'M A FAN OF THE DECATUR STALEYS. It's hard to be disappointed with a team that DOESN'T EVEN EXIST ANYMORE. You know what does exist though? MY TWITTER ACCOUNT. That's right, you won't get the full HORB EXPERIENCE unless you follow me @ HorbFlerbminber . When else will you be able to see me post DMs from Vader about the time he loaded ferrets into a bazooka and fired them at Mitsuharu Misawa as a rib? YOU WON'T KNOW UNLESS YOU FOLLOW ME. Also, yo...

BREAKING: THEM LONG BOYS Photo via Voices of Wrestling So, are you cretins and dopes NOT HUNGOVER ANYMORE? Well, HORB FLERBMINBER still has a hangover, A HANGOVER FROM REPORTING ALL THE NEWS. That's right, your buddy HORB is back to dispense all the news he spent the last week gleaning, gathering, UPROOTING FROM THE EARTH LIKE A PIG SNIFFING OUT TRUFFLES. Unlike most James Beard Award winning restaurants, I WON'T CHARGE YOU AN ARM AND A LEG TO SHAVE MY NEWS NUGGETS OVER YOUR DOLPHIN RISOTTO. Now, you could just be content taking in the newsletter, but what kind of MONSTER would you be if you ONLY consumed what's below? Huh? HUH? YOU'D HURT MY FEELINGS! You can help sate my massive and fragile ego by subscribing to the up-to-the-moment content on my Twitter feed, @ HorbFlerbminber , first and foremost. You can see when I drop the MOST CURRENT updates, including when CM Punk has eaten corn, and any updates on AJ Lee's menstrual cycle, thanks to the camera I've rig...

ARE YOU READY FOR WRESTLEKINGDOM? Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein HAPPY NEW YEAR, HORBIACS. New year, but SAME OL' HORB FLERBMINBER, back at you mining them scoops like they need to be mined. CONTRARY TO RUMORS SPREAD ONLINE, I didn't take the last two weeks of the year off. It's just NEWS DIDN'T HAPPEN. It's true, sometimes, the world stops, especially when I'm off attempting to break the world record of cans of Hamm's beer drunk in one sitting. Did you know Andre the Giant set the record back in 1978 and every year I try and fail to break it? THAT SON OF A BITCH COULD PUT THE BREW AWAY. Anyway, if you want the partial Horb experience, then by all means, JUST READ THE NEWSLETTER. However, if you want it all and you want it NOW, then follow me on Twitter Dot Com, @HorbFlerbminber . You'll know when and where I post screenshots of The Iron Sheik posting antisemitic rants before deleting them. If you guess which ones are doctored and which ones are real, y...

Going in on Meltzer, daddy, to start this whole shebang off Photo Credit: @ObserverQuotes The Year End BLOWOUT continues with the return of the Sorting Bins. For those who are new to TWB, I categorize the various peoples whose performances I've absorbed in the past year into five separate bins depending on how much I've liked them. The first category is Unequivocal Hatred , which is reserved for those who make me wanna throw a brick through my various television screens. A note, I'm not ranking anyone on these lists who have been accused of harassment, sexual abuse, or domestic violence. They can and should be forgotten. These lists are for annoyances inside the ring or on television or what have you. Anyway, onward and upward, or in this case, downward. Dave Meltzer - I know he's not technically an on-screen personality, although perhaps his stature as a booster of the Young Bucks and a superfan in Pro Wrestling Guerrilla make him count. Either way, he's a polariz...

CAN HE SELL FIVE FIGURES OF TICKETS? Photo Credit: WWE.com Well, well, well, guess who's back after the Thanksgiving break. NO, IT'S NOT SLIM SHADY, it is I, HORB FLERBMINBER. After you gluttons GORGED yourself on food this past week, the time has come for you to STUFF YOUR BRAIN STOMACH with all the tidbits of news that I can offer you, which is INFINITE. You HEAR ME? INFINITE. Who else offers that kind of capacity for information? DAVE MELTZER SURE DOESN'T. And don't even get me started on 411 Mania. MORE LIKE 411 NEWS TIDBITS PER YEAR, which is fewer than two per day. SAD. Now, if you're content with only a fraction of the news I can offer, fine, just read this post and share it with everyone you know, whether you love them or hate them. CRAM MY NEWSLETTER INTO THE BRAINS OF YOUR ENEMIES. However, if you wish to get the FULL HORB EXPERIENCE, I suggest you follow me on Twitter dot com, @HorbFlerbminber . Who knows when the major news will drop except for YOU if yo...

Rhodes wants five figures Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein Pro wrestling has an obsession with drawing. WWE stokes that with its numbers about how its crowds are just the biggest and best, whether or not those numbers are accurate. If they're not, then Dave Meltzer will be HOT ON THE CASE, because no issue in wrestling is more pressing than telling the truth about how many people watched your show. It's not only a mark of business, but it's a point of pride for the wrestlers themselves who want to be as famous as possible. Cody Rhodes and the Young Bucks obviously pride themselves on being the most popular wrestlers in America outside the corporate purview of WWE, and now, they're looking to prove it. As reported on Pro Wrestling Sheet , the core members of the Bullet Club are looking to self-finance a show at a 10,000 seat arena in 2018. Apparently, the desire to book a show in such an arena stems from a desire to prove Meltzer wrong when he said Ring of Honor, the Amer...