Wrestling Undertaker Assets

Tune into Smackdown Tuesday to see more creative ways Nakamura can low-blow Styles! Photo Credit: WWE.com In TH Style, of course. You can still watch this for free on WWE Network as a new subscriber, but at this point, maybe just peep RAW and Smackdown this week instead? I dunno. Highlights: Seth Rollins became the final member of The Shield to attain Grand Slam status as he captured the Intercontinental Championship after curb stomps on both Finn B�lor and The Miz. Charlotte Flair ended Asuka's unbeaten streak and retained the Smackdown Women's Championship with the Figure Eight. Jinder Mahal outlasted Randy Orton, Bobby Roode, and Rusev to win the United States Championship with a Khallas on Rusev. Ronda Rousey and Kurt Angle bested Stephanie McMahon and Triple H, as Rousey tapped McMahon out with a cross-armbreaker. The Bludgeon Brothers won the Smackdown Tag Team Championships with an assisted avalanche sitout powerbomb on on Kofi Kingston. Undertaker finally answered John ...

GUESS WHO GOT THE POOP POISONING? Photo Credit: WWE.com HORB FLERBMINBER is back, and I don't have enough time in the day to tell you all the reasons why the following news report will CHANGE YOUR LIFE. Honestly, I shouldn't even be reporting half of this. Why? Is it because most of it isn't true? PREPOSTEROUS. My news is the LEAST FAKE NEWS OF ALL-TIME. It's because for most people, the truth hurts, rating about at a nine or even a full ten on the pain scale. THAT'S WHY DAVE MELTZER NEVER REPORTS ANYTHING ACCURATE. He's too much of a WIMP to SMACK YOU IN THE FACE with the straight dope! That and because he's a fucking rube who gets worked too easily by his sources and who takes it out on women in general and in specific, but that's neither here nor there. Or is it? YOU BE THE JUDGE. Now, you could just read the below newsletter and do nothing else with your day, BUT WHERE'S THE FUN IN THAT, PISSANT? Follow me on Twitter, @HorbFlerbminber . I swear, ...

A HOT FREE AGENT Photo Credit: WWE.com Half the nation is buried under snow, but don't fret! HORB FLERBMINBER is here to dig out all the SCOOPS you need to get through your piddling, winter precipitation-covered existence. Do you see Dave Meltzer out there salting the streets so he can get to all the news on the IMPORTANT coast? NO, he's too busy salting the earth of his credibility by smearing women and minorities from the comfort of his California hermit compound. I'M OUT HERE WITH A PLOW SO I CAN GET TO CM PUNK'S FRONT DOOR AND PLANT SURVEILLANCE CAMERAS. You don't get that kind of dedication from the other coastal elites and their LAISSEZ-FAIRE JOURNALISM. Now, you could just read the newsletter and think you're content with yourself. YOU'D BE WRONG, YOU LAGGART AND WASTREL. You should first follow me on Twitter, @HorbFlerbminber. You can follow me for breaking news, like when I broke when Cody Rhodes posted an affidavit stating that he believed reverse ...

FINALLY, ROUSEY DEVELOPS A SECOND FACIAL EXPRESSION Photo Credit: WWE.com So, you need the news, eh? You need it so bad that you can taste it, that you ACHE FOR IT. Well, you're in luck because HORB FLERBMINBER IS BACK WITH MORE INFORMATION THAN YOUR PUNY BRAINS CAN HANDLE. I bring so much news to the table that even Justin Barrasso is embarrassed. AND HE'S CO-OPTED BY WWE. I once reported something that made Vince McMahon cry. Sure, it was that I was carrying a letterbomb full of atomized onion that exploded in his face, causing him the MOST PAINFUL PAIN HE'S EVER FELT, but hey, I take things on technicalities. IT COUNTS. Of course, you could  just read the newsletter and think to yourself, "Oh, I've had enough." Well, you'd be WRONG, because you can NEVER HAVE ENOUGH HORB, you peon. NEVER. First, follow me on Twitter, @ HorbFlerbminber . Where else can you see me hoot and holler while Eric Bischoff owns Dave Meltzer? NOWHERE, that's where. Also, you ...

ROUSEY NEWS! Photo Credit: WWE.com Today is the most important day of the week. Why? Valentine's Day? NO, that's just a day invented by WWE to honor Greg The Hammer. Ash Wednesday? Pfft, Jesus Christ was a mark. No, it's HORB NEWSLETTER DAY. That's right, PRO WRESTLING SKOOPZ is back with your man HORB FLERBMINBER bringing you the high heat on takes and all the fresh news. Who has the better handle on news? Not Bruce Mitchell, that's for damn sure. HE SPENDS MOST OF HIS TIME ON REDDIT BEING SHOCKED AT KENNY OMEGA'S SEXUALITY. You can just read the newsletter, but why would you just  want to read the newsletter? That'd be like going to a Brazilian steakhouse and not wanting to fuck the meat. IT FEELS GOOD AGAINST YOUR GENITALS. You should want to get the FULL HORB EXPERIENCE. First, follow me @ HorbFlerbminber  on Twitter. If you don't follow me on Twitter, how will you know when news breaks? Hell, how will you know when wind breaks at Titan Towers? VINCE...

E-A-G-L-E-S EAGLES Photo Credit: Getty Images It's Twitter Request Line time, everyone! I take to Twitter to get questions about issues in wrestling, past and present, and answer them on here because 140 characters can't restrain me, fool! If you don't know already, follow me @tholzerman , and wait for the call on Wednesday to ask your questions. Hash-tag your questions #TweetBag , and look for the bag to drop Thursday afternoon (most of the time). Without further ado, here are your questions and my answers: First time long time. Here's my question: Who are the Superbowl LII Champions? � JawnJawn Binks (@FanSince09) February 7, 2018 I'm going to let these guys handle it: go birds Does Brandon Graham get a statue in front of the stadium? � Thomas SinCara (@beenthrifty) February 7, 2018 I don't know if he will, but he should. Nick Foles will get all the press, and rightfully so, but man, that win doesn't happen without Graham knocking the ball loose and almos...

THE REAL STAR FROM SUNDAY Photo Credit: WWE.com Hey, did you know who's back this week? No, it's not CM PUNK. He's off planning BENGHAZI 2: BENGHAZI HARDER. How did I get that information? WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO KNOW. No, HORB FLERBMINBER IS BACK, and he's taking no prisoners. YOU HEAR ME, BRAD SHEPARD? I KNOW YOU STOLE ALL MY SCOOPS AND PASSED THEM OFF AS YOUR OWN. Just remember that next time you go to Panera Bread and order a breakfast sandwich. THEY BUY THEIR EGGS FROM ME, AND I HAVE PLENTY OF WEAPONIZED LISTERIA TO GO AROUND, MOTHERFUCKER. Of course, you want to get the whole HORB EXPERIENCE. You don't just read the newsletter and think to yourself, "Oh, this is just enough Horb to get me through the week," because if you do, YOU'RE A FUCKING MARK. You're not a FUCKING MARK, are you? Then first, you have to follow me on Twitter, @ HorbFlerbminber . Nowhere else will you find the best news that I stole from the brain of psychic bugs who have ...

Too slow, Ronda, too slow Photo Credit: WWE.com In the classic TH Style, folks. If you didn't see this one live, well, get your free month (or make like Kairi Sane's gimmick) of WWE Network and doubleheader this and Takeover, because hoo-boy, it's been all good. Highlights: AJ Styles retained the WWE World Championship against Sami Zayn and Kevin Owens with a casadora victory roll counter of the pop-up powerbomb. The Usos retained the Smackdown Tag Team Championships with a straight two-nothing sweep of Chad Gable and Shelton Benjamin. Shinsuke Nakamura won the 2018 men's Royal Rumble match by lastly eliminating Roman Reigns. The Bar regained the RAW Tag Team Championships for a fourth time by defeating Seth Rollins and Jason Jordan. They hit Rollins with a double-team White Noise, as Jordan spent the entire match incapacitated. Brock Lesnar retained the WWE Universal Championship over Kane and Braun Strowman by F5ing Kane onto a chair. Asuka won the first ever women...