Wrestling Undertaker Assets

A true wrestling icon Photo Credit: Pro Wrestling Illustrated via WWE.com Bruno Sammartino passed away today at age 82. The Italian-born, Pittsburgh-adopted strongman-turned-wrestler was WWE's first modern legendary figure, but he's known for his epic spurning of Vince McMahon today as he is for his run at the top of the company McMahon currently operates. He is without a doubt one of the most important figures in wrestling history, the archetype for Vincent J. McMahon's version of the then World Wide Wrestling Federation, and though he led a rich and full life, his passing signals a massive loss in the wrestling community. Sammartino was born in Abruzzi, Italy in October of 1935. He spent his childhood living in an active theater of World War II, spending part of it hiding in the mountains from Nazi forces. His family would move to the United States, Pittsburgh specifically, in 1950, where Sammartino recovered from his early life of living sparsely during wartime by taking...

Seven hours of Mania (sponsored by Snickers!) isn't too much if you time out your WWE viewing Graphics Credit: WWE.com Last year's WrestleMania (technically 33 but unofficially "WrestleMania: The Big Bright Florida Sun") was the longest ever. The pre-show started at 5 PM local time, and then The Undertaker was swallowed up by the ramp just around midnight. That is seven hours. Seven damn hours. And with 13 matches announced for WrestleMania 34 (unofficially "WrestleMania: Also The New Orleans Saints"), the same number as last year's Mania, we are likely in for just as long of a haul. The glut of content produced by WWE is a perpetual source of hand-wringing. We complain that WWE is asking for too large of a slice of our lives to be devoted to watching their stuff. The trick is to just not watch very much of it. I haven't watched a full episode of RAW or Smackdown in well over a year, and folks, I am doing just fine. I watch most of the PPVs, I catch ...

The Ultimate Deletion was a fun watch, but it had distinct lack of ambition Photo Credit: WWE.com Before anyone writes any words about the Ultimate Deletion, one should note that any criticism of it couched in the belief that Vince McMahon had any resistance to air something as esoteric and cinematic as the Broken Universe does not know Vince McMahon's history of broadcasting wrestling. It's wild that the most successful wrestling promoter of all-time seemingly hates the medium of pro wrestling, but stranger things have happened. McMahon has always fancied himself as an entertainment mogul more than a promoter anyway. He's said so on so many occasions. He's taken great pains to keep the word "wrestling" from being uttered on RAW. I mean, nothing makes me cringe harder than when Michael Cole proclaims WrestleMania to be the biggest event in "entertainment." He produced "Fuji Vice," for crying out loud. I don't think his lack of understa...

Reigns winning the Chamber was the right call, but is his WrestleMania opponent the same? Photo Credit: WWE.com So, Elimination Chamber was a decent enough show. Nia Jax and Asuka went out and had a Match of the Year candidate, Ronda Rousey had her road to WrestleMania mapped out through MCMAHON COUNTRY, Alexa Bliss MADE HISTORY thanks to Sasha Banks and Bayley finally coming to the first real blows since Takeover: Respect, and The Bar kept their RAW Tag Team Championships. However, the narratives shifted and focused on one singular decision, which felt like it was set in stone since at least SummerSlam, Roman Reigns ending up as Brock Lesnar's opponent for WrestleMania 34. If you have an intense feeling of deja vu over this, congratulations, you're justified. Reigns once again heads into Mania challenging for a title against a mostly vacant part-timer after a Royal Rumble took place in Philadelphia. The main difference is that Reigns got there via other means, namely the Elimi...

If the Hall of Fame had objective merit, why is Jarrett in and Chyna not? Photo Credit: WWE.com The announcement of Jeff Jarrett's induction into the WWE Hall of Fame had a side effect of people getting really adamant, defensive, jumpy even about who gets into the club. The discussion turns to who is worthy of being inducted, with people unleashing vitriol in attack of those they feel unworthy or in defense of those they feel deserve to be there. When you boil down worth or eligibility to its core, you'd find out the only thing that gets someone into the WWE Hall of Fame or keeps them out is the whim of an insane old man. Vince McMahon doesn't really give a flying shit about what titles you won, how much money you drew, or anything else but if he thinks you can net him a few extra tickets sold or another round of great publicity. If his Hall of Fame had any semblance of objective criteria, would it have taken more than two decades to induct Bruno Sammartino? He was the comp...

Back from the dead Photo Credit: WWE.com About 18 months ago or so, I received a TweetBag question about what would entail a "burial at sea" in wrestling, a burial so heinous that it could not be undone. The example I used was of Jeff Jarrett, who twice carnied the shit out of Vince McMahon to the point where the chairman of WWE called him a " Goonie " on the simulcast of RAW and the final episode of Monday Nitro. Jarrett jumped ship in 1995 while under contract, and somehow because of the climate, he was allowed back. He was going to jump ship again, but he had to drop the Intercontinental Championship to Chyna first, and well, he didn't wanna drop the title to a dang woman without some more money up front. McMahon told him to pound sand and was so offended that everyone assumed Jarrett was going to WWE what Uncle Ben Parker was to comics, the only person who'd stay dead. Anyway, burial at sea, this is what I wrote about it way back in July of 2015: A buri...

Imagine throwing away all your goodwill over this schmuck, and yet... Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein So, Michael Elgin was found to be badmouthing and harassing a victim of sexual assault from one of his students three months ago , give or take a couple of days. Indie wrestling companies in America lined up to vociferously denounce him and cancel his bookings, even though he still kept working for New Japan Pro Wrestling. Then again, Bushiroad's response to allegations of domestic abuse against Tomoaki Honma was non-existent, so why would it punish Elgin? Anyway, AAW's response to the allegations, that the promotion would not book him until things blew over, essentially, seemed to portend that Elgin would be back on the scene sooner rather than later. And well, if you had money on "sooner," you'd be correct. IWA Mid-South decided the time to bring Elgin back was right now, and it's not surprising that Ian Rotten's promotion was the one to pull the trigger...

TWO WINNERS!?!?!?! Photo Credit: WWE.com There have been 30 editions of the Royal Rumble match, and not all of them have been noteworthy. Big John Studd won one of them, for goodness' sake. But let's focus on the good, in the face of all the difficulties we must endure in this ridiculous world of ours. Certain Rumbles have ended in excellent fashion, and we should take a minute to show our appreciation, if only to get ready for our inevitable disappointment at the end of the 2018 Royal Rumble. (moments are unranked, because rankings are unfair) 1994 Royal Rumble - The Co-Winners In the first and only time in which there were officially two winners of the Rumble, Bret Hart and Lex Luger toppled over the ropes and eliminated each other at the same time. It's a precarious spot that WWE tried again last year with AJ Styles and Luke Harper, and even Mr. Gay Community wasn't talented enough to pull it off. But Bret Hart was. And even with a clumsy oaf like Luger in his hands,...

Going in on Meltzer, daddy, to start this whole shebang off Photo Credit: @ObserverQuotes The Year End BLOWOUT continues with the return of the Sorting Bins. For those who are new to TWB, I categorize the various peoples whose performances I've absorbed in the past year into five separate bins depending on how much I've liked them. The first category is Unequivocal Hatred , which is reserved for those who make me wanna throw a brick through my various television screens. A note, I'm not ranking anyone on these lists who have been accused of harassment, sexual abuse, or domestic violence. They can and should be forgotten. These lists are for annoyances inside the ring or on television or what have you. Anyway, onward and upward, or in this case, downward. Dave Meltzer - I know he's not technically an on-screen personality, although perhaps his stature as a booster of the Young Bucks and a superfan in Pro Wrestling Guerrilla make him count. Either way, he's a polariz...