Wrestling Undertaker Assets

Whomst will Strowman's partner be? Photo Credit: WWE.com It's Twitter Request Line time, everyone! I take to Twitter to get questions about issues in wrestling, past and present, and answer them on here because 140 characters can't restrain me, fool! If you don't know already, follow me @tholzerman , and wait for the call on Wednesday to ask your questions. Hash-tag your questions #TweetBag , and look for the bag to drop Thursday afternoon (most of the time). Without further ado, here are your questions and my answers: Do you think Colton Burpo is more likely to hit it off with Skylin or Booch during a chance encounter at Burlington Coat Factory? #tweetbag � Ryan Bayne (@mutantdog123) April 4, 2018 Honestly, Booch has always been aloof. Skylin is definitely more of an outgoing personality, and Colton Burpo loves to engage with outgoing personalities. I am so, so sorry everyone. Protected user @AGoot18 asks: Are you going to be Braun's partner? Unfortunately, I'm...

FINALLY, ROUSEY DEVELOPS A SECOND FACIAL EXPRESSION Photo Credit: WWE.com So, you need the news, eh? You need it so bad that you can taste it, that you ACHE FOR IT. Well, you're in luck because HORB FLERBMINBER IS BACK WITH MORE INFORMATION THAN YOUR PUNY BRAINS CAN HANDLE. I bring so much news to the table that even Justin Barrasso is embarrassed. AND HE'S CO-OPTED BY WWE. I once reported something that made Vince McMahon cry. Sure, it was that I was carrying a letterbomb full of atomized onion that exploded in his face, causing him the MOST PAINFUL PAIN HE'S EVER FELT, but hey, I take things on technicalities. IT COUNTS. Of course, you could  just read the newsletter and think to yourself, "Oh, I've had enough." Well, you'd be WRONG, because you can NEVER HAVE ENOUGH HORB, you peon. NEVER. First, follow me on Twitter, @ HorbFlerbminber . Where else can you see me hoot and holler while Eric Bischoff owns Dave Meltzer? NOWHERE, that's where. Also, you ...

Braun Strowman has become Death, Destroyer of Chambers Photo Credit: WWE.com Welcome to a feature I like to call "Best in the World" rankings. They're not traditional power rankings per se, but they're rankings to see who is really the best in the world, a term bandied about like it's bottled water or something else really common. They're rankings decided by me, and don't you dare call them arbitrary lest I smack the taste out of your mouth. Without further ado, here's this week's list: 1. Braun Strowman (Last Week: 1) - Strowman didn't win the Chamber match but he pretty much made Roman Reigns' job easy for him. I mean, he eliminated an entire normal Elimination Chamber's worth of competitors last night. Technically, he should be given some kind of win, but you know the Monster Among Men isn't content taking technicalities. My guess is he'll go and level North Henderson tonight in retaliation. Or maybe just kick Reigns across ...

Two of my super-faves going at it on NXT Photo Credit: WWE.com The end of the sorting bin extravaganza is nigh. This is the final category, the top of the pops, the wrestlers for whom I come closest to obsession. All of them get write-ups because they're the aces, man. The greatest. The finest. At least for this year. Sentence fragment. Nikki Cross - SANitY is an incredible stable. Eric Young is a fine leader because the dude has them crazy eyes. Alexander Wolfe doesn't care about his own health or welfare. Killian Dain is exactly what one might think of if Godzilla took a human form. But the whole thing would just be another group of guys in the white noise if not for Nikki Cross. She brings that entire group together and elevates it. She's so kinetic and vibrant that it feels like if you took her away from not just SANitY, but NXT, the entire operation loses something. Whether it's the way she sensually gazes at Ruby Riotttttttttt, Tazmanian Devils her way down to ri...

He's coming back to America... Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein I don't know if you've heard the news, but EVOLVE announced that Daisuke Sekimoto, the beefy Big Japan/All-Japan HOSS who's all the rage among the puroresu community, will be coming over for WrestleMania weekend this year. Of course, no matches have been announced yet because it's still five months out, but the mere announcement of Sekimoto sent tingles of joy throughout the spines of fans everywhere. He's been to America before, namely for Chikara King of Trios in 2010, but he'll presumably have a singles spotlight on him. In classic fatalist fashion, most people assumed Gabe Sapolsky would book him against just the dullest talent possible. However, Sapolsky may not even be in charge of booking EVOLVE by then, and honestly, I wanna look on the bright side anyway. The following are six opponents I'd wanna see throw down with one half of Strong BJ Mania weekend. 1. Keith Lee - Look, if you di...