Wrestling Undertaker Assets

FINALLY, ROUSEY DEVELOPS A SECOND FACIAL EXPRESSION Photo Credit: WWE.com So, you need the news, eh? You need it so bad that you can taste it, that you ACHE FOR IT. Well, you're in luck because HORB FLERBMINBER IS BACK WITH MORE INFORMATION THAN YOUR PUNY BRAINS CAN HANDLE. I bring so much news to the table that even Justin Barrasso is embarrassed. AND HE'S CO-OPTED BY WWE. I once reported something that made Vince McMahon cry. Sure, it was that I was carrying a letterbomb full of atomized onion that exploded in his face, causing him the MOST PAINFUL PAIN HE'S EVER FELT, but hey, I take things on technicalities. IT COUNTS. Of course, you could  just read the newsletter and think to yourself, "Oh, I've had enough." Well, you'd be WRONG, because you can NEVER HAVE ENOUGH HORB, you peon. NEVER. First, follow me on Twitter, @ HorbFlerbminber . Where else can you see me hoot and holler while Eric Bischoff owns Dave Meltzer? NOWHERE, that's where. Also, you ...

THE MAN Photo Credit: Getty Images Welcome to a feature I like to call "Best in the World" rankings. They're not traditional power rankings per se, but they're rankings to see who is really the best in the world, a term bandied about like it's bottled water or something else really common. They're rankings decided by me, and don't you dare call them arbitrary lest I smack the taste out of your mouth. Without further ado, here's this week's list: 1. Joel Embiid (Last Week: 5) - I understand that the Sixers lost a couple of awful games last week and are on a bit of a slide, but goddamn, if Embiid isn't a wizard on the court. When Ben Simmons gets fully used to NBA speed and starts turning the ball over less, this team is going to be unstoppable. Trust the process, always. 2. Asuka (Last Week: 6) - Seriously, am I the only one who thinks Absolution vs. Asuka is a mismatch... in favor of Asuka? You're going to need to make this Women's Ro...